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Riding the Waves of Grief | A Path to Growth

Updated: Aug 30, 2023

This past year has been one heck of a ride. About a year ago, I lost my mom, and just five months later, my dad left us too. Meanwhile, I was diving into getting certified as a coach and launching my own business. Today, I want to share some thoughts about my mom and the journey I've been on.

Let's be real – anniversaries can stir up a jumble of emotions. This past year has been like a rollercoaster of grief, self-discovery, and wrestling with two things: wanting to honor my late mom's legacy and breaking free from the crazy weight of perfectionism she unknowingly handed down to me.

This time last year, I had to say goodbye to my mom, leaving a void that was impossible to fill. But as time rolled on, I began to see that she's still here with me. Not only in the cherished memories but also in the little traits and habits that I picked up from her. My hands, for instance, are starting to look just like hers. It's like having a tangible connection, even though she's not physically here.

But here's the twist – in my quest to embody her spirit, I accidentally latched onto her never-ending quest for perfection. The pressure to be flawless, to hit that "perfect" mark, has been haunting me for as long as I can remember. Deep down, I know none of us are perfect – it's our quirks and flaws that make us awesome. Yet, I've been struggling with this need to seem flawless since forever. Even after years of trying to improve myself, I found myself still shackled by it. My mom's spirit made me realize I had to confront and ditch this idea of needing to be "perfect."

Today, that realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Again. It's crystal clear – we're all perfectly imperfect. Our quirks, our vulnerabilities – that's what helps us connect with people for real. It's what makes us genuine and relatable. And guess what? My mom's memory keeps whispering that to me, pushing me to let go of the heavy cloak of perfectionism and stand tall as myself.

As someone going solo in the business world, these internal struggles sneak into my professional life too. Being a solopreneur means putting your whole self out there – sharing your story, ideas, and personality. But guess what also creeps in? Yep, that nagging desire to be perfect. It's like a huge roadblock.

Here's what I've learned: Linking my wish to honor my mom with this unending need to be perfect has been my GPS in navigating these turbulent emotions. It's a journey of understanding myself and giving myself a break. Reminding myself that just being me is enough. Being a successful solopreneur isn't about fitting into an impossible mold; it's about embracing my evolving self, quirks and all, and letting that guide me.

In the midst of this, it's comforting to know that my mom's legacy runs deep. It's not only in the way our hands look or the things we share. It's in the lessons she left behind. She reminds me that perfection is like a mirage – we can never catch it, and trying only smothers our real selves. Unshackling myself from this perfectionism isn't just about me – it's my way of honoring her and paving my own path as a solopreneur.

This year has been a wild ride of emotions, fueled by the pain of losing my mom and the insights I've gained from my forever battle with perfectionism. It's proof that human experiences are a mix of chaos and beauty, and the people we love leave lasting marks on us, even when they're gone. As I move forward, personally and as a solopreneur, I'm holding onto this lesson: Being perfect isn't the game; it's embracing our real, imperfect selves that truly counts. And you know what? I'm eager to see where the next months take me, as I navigate the journey of grieving my dad's loss and all the personal growth that'll come with it.

About the author

Bouwien (Bo) Luppes, a seasoned solopreneur, and certified life coach, brings a wealth of global experience to her work. With six successful solo ventures across three countries and two continents under her belt, she intimately understands the challenges faced by women in solo entrepreneurship. This extensive experience, merged with a passion to empower others, inspired her to found Coach 4 Solopreneurs, where she offers support and guidance tailored to the unique journey of female solopreneurs.

1 Comment

Unknown member
Aug 11, 2023

Thank you for sharing your journey this past year....celebrating your parents and embracing our imperfect perfect self. Having lost my mom a few years ago - I miss her dearly but feel her presence all the time. Such a powerful reminder to embrace our journey in our messy (forget perfect!!!) life. : )

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